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One Week. 21 Years. Adulthood.
Mar. 1st, 2004 02:21 amI've been meaning to post this for a few days now... I've been waiting for the time to just sit down, type it up, and make something of the information I've had rolling around in my head for a small while now...but be that I've got it now, I'm gonna put it down on digital paper. ^_^
All this started while I was deeply thinking to myself..of all the stressors I have to put up with throughout my daily life. Be it my roommate, my lover, my schoolwork, my job, my classes, (and attendance) but most importantly...getting my schoolwork done on time, maintaining my responsibilties (my best, really), and easing the weight on my shoulders.
Zei fueled my thoughts...mainly because he wanted to turn a blind eye to my absenteeism from school, and I could feel the pressure he was giving me because of it. I could feel his frustration in wanting me to do better, and yet I continued to stay in bed. Rough. So...Thursday, I had a little thinking session with myself, asking myself this, that, and the other, applying my "Just Because" priniciple, it eventually came down to God telling me, "If you can pick up a video game controller, you can do your homework." Honestly...that made a lot of sense.
If I have the nerve to continue a video game, I could easily do the same with my homework. I can do the reading, the studying, etc., as if I were just picking up a game to complete the story. And aside from just not wanting to do some of it, I honestly didn't know what else was stopping me. Perhaps myself and my apathy towards schoolwork as of late, I suppose.
Anywho, with that, and a little affirmation from Azumanga Daioh, I plotted a course towards my work for a project that would be shown on Saturday. From that point onward, I decided that I would be honest with myself and my capabilities, and acknowledge my shortcomings and limits. Such as, deciding when to take my classes, how to do my work, how best to accomplish a given goal...all so I can keep the stress on my back to a minimum. My six completed hours from last semester proved that.
And now I recall what truly fuelled it--when Zei reminded me about last semester and how many credits I achieved...I compared it to my previous semesters. How was it different? Simple. I wasn't working at the law firm. The time I'd spent working was time I would have used to do what work was necessary for my other classes. Therefore, I resolved that THIS semseter, I would try and organize myself a bit more to take advantage of what time I do have so I don't get swamped over.
Not to mention...my 21st is coming up in about a week. It brought up more thoughts of trying to stay young at heart while still growing up and being responsible. I haven't quite come up with a true answer to that yet. It's like...I kinda can be, but I don't want to have a mental image of being childish, immature, and irresponsible. I want to shed those qualities as much as I can without infringing on who I am and what I want to achieve.
....and I finished the project for my TV Techniques class....before the due date. This was the first time I completed a project like this in a while. Zei and I were quite joyous at the prospect. *snicker* There's hope for me yet!
Anywho...I've got bed to get to, and work in the morning, but before I go....
Thank you,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nocky for helping me complete the "The Development of the Super Robot" project I was working on. I truly appreciate all your help, man. ^_^
All this started while I was deeply thinking to myself..of all the stressors I have to put up with throughout my daily life. Be it my roommate, my lover, my schoolwork, my job, my classes, (and attendance) but most importantly...getting my schoolwork done on time, maintaining my responsibilties (my best, really), and easing the weight on my shoulders.
Zei fueled my thoughts...mainly because he wanted to turn a blind eye to my absenteeism from school, and I could feel the pressure he was giving me because of it. I could feel his frustration in wanting me to do better, and yet I continued to stay in bed. Rough. So...Thursday, I had a little thinking session with myself, asking myself this, that, and the other, applying my "Just Because" priniciple, it eventually came down to God telling me, "If you can pick up a video game controller, you can do your homework." Honestly...that made a lot of sense.
If I have the nerve to continue a video game, I could easily do the same with my homework. I can do the reading, the studying, etc., as if I were just picking up a game to complete the story. And aside from just not wanting to do some of it, I honestly didn't know what else was stopping me. Perhaps myself and my apathy towards schoolwork as of late, I suppose.
Anywho, with that, and a little affirmation from Azumanga Daioh, I plotted a course towards my work for a project that would be shown on Saturday. From that point onward, I decided that I would be honest with myself and my capabilities, and acknowledge my shortcomings and limits. Such as, deciding when to take my classes, how to do my work, how best to accomplish a given goal...all so I can keep the stress on my back to a minimum. My six completed hours from last semester proved that.
And now I recall what truly fuelled it--when Zei reminded me about last semester and how many credits I achieved...I compared it to my previous semesters. How was it different? Simple. I wasn't working at the law firm. The time I'd spent working was time I would have used to do what work was necessary for my other classes. Therefore, I resolved that THIS semseter, I would try and organize myself a bit more to take advantage of what time I do have so I don't get swamped over.
Not to mention...my 21st is coming up in about a week. It brought up more thoughts of trying to stay young at heart while still growing up and being responsible. I haven't quite come up with a true answer to that yet. It's like...I kinda can be, but I don't want to have a mental image of being childish, immature, and irresponsible. I want to shed those qualities as much as I can without infringing on who I am and what I want to achieve.
....and I finished the project for my TV Techniques class....before the due date. This was the first time I completed a project like this in a while. Zei and I were quite joyous at the prospect. *snicker* There's hope for me yet!
Anywho...I've got bed to get to, and work in the morning, but before I go....
Thank you,
nocky for helping me complete the "The Development of the Super Robot" project I was working on. I truly appreciate all your help, man. ^_^
