Apr. 4th, 2011

tigeronstarfire: (Objection!)
Bro. Wayne, I've had enough of dealing with the phantom of a premature death just because I love other men. I'm tired of believing you for over ten years. I'm tired of denying my heart the pure joy I feel from being in another guy's arms.

I'm cutting these chains tonight. Your words will have no more power over me, and hopefully my mom. I considered you a man of God, but you're just as human as I. But I will no longer subject myself to fears I allowed you to install into my mind.

No more. I know what I feel to be true, and your word is NOT absolute. I may be scared, but this is something that I feel I need to do.

Hello, world. I'm Josh. I'm a gay man, and that's precisely how God made me. To deny that would be to live a lie, and that's the very lie I'm tired of living.

And, well... I want to make another man very happy to have and hold me. I want a companion, a friend, a lover, and I would like to be that for someone else. Because I do get lonely sometimes, and I really want to share my heart with someone else.

But for the record - I will die because I'm mortal, and NOT because I'm gay. It's over, Bro. Wayne. I know who I am. You may not even know how much this has affected me, but enough is enough. I'm tired of feeling trapped. I want to live again, and not hold back due to those fears.

I'm not weak. I also believe I've been given a brain to use and to try to be as safe as possible. But I will no longer let those words torment me...because the gift of being gay makes me happier than you'll ever realize. And I'm tired of letting that joy be stolen from me.

My life begins anew today. We'll see where it takes me.

Posted via LjBeetle

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