Feb. 5th, 2010

tigeronstarfire: (Smexy Confident Eletiggy)
Just a little paraphrase I figured would be useful. :3P

Hey Livejournal! Long time no see! XD Haven't been posting much because life has been...pretty good, I must say. Work's been pretty steady, though we all had a small scare when our business manager had to go to a budget reduction meeting to justify my position. o_O But it apparently went really well, so everything seems to be okay. He should get the results of that meeting soon, I imagine, but fingers crossed, and I'm feeling optimistic.

It's kinda wierd too. After not writing in this thing for so long, and because life has been so...monotonous, I sorta feel like I've lost my voice. Like, I've just become a cog in the wheel of life, functioning, moving, developing, procrastinating...the whole bit. Not that I don't feel like I'm going somewhere, but sometimes it feels like the same stuff day in and out. But a lot of things have changed too, and for the better, but it's far too much to describe in a simple LJ post. In fact, after my past several, I feel bad even touching on them lightly because it wouldn't do the changes justice.

But you know what? To hell with that. :D And...I think in the back of my mind, I think I'm this furry celebrity that I'm really not. :P Not that many people know me. And yet, it's like... I feel myself going back into my old philosophy of wanting to hide those things away because it was too stressful to be so...'open'. Like, I wanted to have full control over what people perceived me to be at all times, but I can't do that. All I can do is be me, put it out into the open, and if people don't like it, tough titties. I have to be me, and that's the only way I'll attract the people I want to have in my life. Slowly, but surely, I'm becoming more social. And I can't help but still want to keep some of that mystery about me, but not to the point where I'm some vague, wandering shadow like I feel I may have been in the past. Maybe I haven't come off that way. But that's they way I feel I've been.

Anywho though. One of the biggest recent things is that I now have a new entertainment center! ..and media shelf! :D Go see.

This is what I had before - it belonged to one of my roommates, and I was using up until last weekend. And it had plenty of storage. But I wanted to bring the TV closer to earth, and make more use of the center area. So...I have that, but the unfortunate thing is that I can't fit the cable box or my computer tower into it at all. It's not tall or wide enough. :P But it looks nice, and the TV high is just right. That, and I like the media pyramid I have in the center. :) So...it's a tradeoff.

Another thing - I beat MGS3 and 4 over the Christmas break into the New Year. Let me say this - I wasn't happy with the way 4 tied up some of the loose ends, but I FREAKING LOVED 3. SNAKE EATER, BABY. :D FUCKING SNAKE EATER. The ending was a BLAST, and they made you work for it. Just when you thought it was all over? Hell no. :D You're not done yet. XD But it was worth every minute and twist that built up to it. And recently, I was playing Bayonetta. And I hear one of my friends didn't want to play it because of the fanservice. Well, they're missing out on a very sassy, witty, and sexy heroine, and a great action game. And it won brownie points for its use of "Fly Me To the Moon" in the intro, since it reminded me of Eva and fighting angels. :)

Lastly, I learned a few things about myself since my last post.

Don't doubt myself or my abilities. If it's enough to make someone happy, fix their computer - take pride in it, and don't think that I'm not enough. I intentionally, in the past, tried to tie myself down so that I didn't get so far in my art that I made someone jealous, but, well...obviously, I'm holding myself back, and I don't need to. I'm missing out on a gift I have that makes people happy, and that's what I want anyway. And...it's weird. Now that I think about it, I really don't know how or why I came to think like that. o_O Or, to whom I direct that at, unless it's the faceless furry populace, or whatever. But I'll be okay. It's an irrational fear. :P A monster of my own creation, perhaps. Maybe just to protect me from what interest in my art would create? Even if my art is...mostly personal? I dunno. But I shouldn't short change myself, because what I do makes people happy, and I think I'd like to develop that gift.

And for the jackass that was like, "Look at the art I got for free!" Well, you suck. :P Because I did that out of the kindness of my own heart, not to make your sketchbook look better. :P

Alrighty, I know that's a lot to digest, but I think that's a good summary of things up to this point. Oh, and I got a Samsung Moment. :D Android Market is the window to happiness, folks. ^_^

If I think of more, I'll mention it in future posts, and hopefully I won't hesitate to do so. If you guys like reading my stuff, well, here you go. :)

And 'geaux' Saints! I'm not a hardcore football fan, but it's great for New Orleans, and we need all the support we can get. Do your best in Miami!

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